Friday, February 12, 2010

News Flash: People With Lady Parts Like Football, Too

I won't belabor this point too much, because it's not exactly a revelation that, while the NFL has made progress in reaching out to female fans in the past few years, we're still a minority of the market, and it's largely a dude's world out there. This is why the guys get lovely sideline reporters to look at, and we get Tony Siragusa. This is why when I arrive at a sports bar alone, I am asked if I am "here for the game or saving a seat for my man," because I guess women with a casual interest in football always arrive at a bar at 11 am in a McNabb jersey to grab a seat for a 1 pm game...for their man. But hey, they do make pink jerseys now, so I guess that's progress. We won't tell that not all girls like pink. They're trying.

But the Super Bowl ads this year were pretty awful. Particularly bad was this one from Dodge. Really, Dodge marketing guys? Are we that bad that you need a big vroom-vroom to assuage the pain of having to shave and clean out the sink? I just got my eyebrows waxed today, guys. You wanna piece of that? I'm not even talking about the bikini area. Trust me, you can't handle it. And, BTW, boys. I sit through 2-hour meetings too. I just get paid less for it than you do. But I don't need a car to cope. That's what bourbon is for.

C'mon, guys. You've not only got female football fans out there, but it's the Super Bowl, so you've probably got a lot of other ladies watching who are taking part in the last great communal American television viewing event in the postmodern media landscape. We deserve better. If I wanted to get pissed off while watching football, I'll continue doing what I've been doing for 29 years, and root for the Eagles. I don't need your help.

So cheers to the people who posted this brilliant rebuttal (also below). Note: it has a bad word in it. But I think we can cope. And just so you know, I'm really not a feminazi prudish type. I don't mind the GoDaddy commercials or the sexy beer ladies. I know boobies are great. I have some of my own. They're fantastic. Just less of the mean car commercials, please, and maybe a little more like the one of Adrian Peterson running in slow motion. A little equal opportunity objectification is all I ask. Thanks.

And the original Dodge ad: