Sunday, April 8, 2012

Passover Chocolate Denial Cake

Passover. The holiday in which you can't use flour, eat anything with corn syrup or drink any alcohol. At least, any alcohol that's worth anybody's time. There are a lot of rules. And if you can pull off a recipe that achieves "oh, this really isn't that bad" status, you have succeeded.

Here, I give you a recipe that really isn't that bad.

The trick to baking on Passover is to have the right tools at hand. Mysterious things like "potato starch" and "matzo cake flour." What's the difference between matzo cake flour and regular flour? Why you even gotta go there? Don't be so anti-Semitic. Gawd.

Anyway, to start making your chocolate denial cake, preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Sift together 1/4 cup cocoa, 3/4 cup magic matzo cake meal, 1/3 cup potato starch and 1/8 tsp salt.

Then, you'll need to separate 10 eggs and set aside both the whites and the yolks. If you don't know how to do this, it's a little hard to articulate, which is why God gave us YouTube. Seriously. He did. It's all in the haggadah. Pinky swear.

So once that's done, beat the yolks with an electric mixer. Add 1 cup of sugar and 1 tsp of orange rind.

Beat until thick and fluffy. That's right. FLUFFY. Then fold in the dry ingredients. Do this slowly, unless you want to re-enact the Dust Bowl in your kitchen.

In another bowl, beat the egg whites and a bit of salt until they're foamy. Like this:

Then, slowly add another cup of sugar and beat the living hell out of it until stiff peaks form. This will take a while. Try counting in another language to pass the time! Or saying the alphabet backwards! Or concentrate on shifting your weight from one foot to the other when your pet rabbit tries to get amorous with your feet! GUESS WHICH ONE I CHOSE.

Anyway, your egg whites should look like this:

Then fold the egg yolk mixture into the egg whites.

Pour the batter into an ungreased 10-inch tube pan. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? IT'S THE HELL THIS:

Make sure the batter is fairly evenly distributed.

Bake for 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean.

Invert the cake on a cooling rack for a few hours before removing from the pan. You may have to run a knife around the sides just to make sure it will come out. Then you have this!

And there you have it! It really isn't that bad! Really! Happy holiday, you guys!