Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Great Compliments of All Time

This evening I was going about my nightly routine of ironing my work clothes for the next day, and began thinking out loud about how much I hate ironing. I never get the creases right, it takes forever, and is generally a giant pain. I remarked out loud that if I ever became fabulously wealthy, I really wouldn't want much out of life. But I would want someone to iron my damn shirts and such. And maybe someone to make some custom shoes for my chubby little feet. And a room full of armadillos running about at all times. Basically that would be it. I love cooking, and would miss that. I'd especially miss trips to the grocery store, as I have a perverse love of clipping coupons and going to the supermarket each week (it's like a treasure hunt!). And I wouldn't know a designer purse if it hit me upside the head. I wouldn't make a very good rich person.

"Yeah," said Mark. "You'd make a shitty Hilton."

I think that's one of the greatest compliments I've ever heard.


Thursday, January 17, 2008

Adorable Adventures in Customer Service

How much do I freakin' love the Japanese?

This is a country that believes so strongly in the power of cute, that even the most mundane facets of daily office life are infused with cuddly, Awwwwww-inspiring imagery. To whit: I received a parcel of media clips from our partner organization in Japan yesterday. The media clips were totally inconsequential compared to the logo of the shipping company that sent the package:

Are you kidding me? Being the curious sort, I immediately Googled "Japanese delivery cat logo," and the website for the Yamato delivery company popped up. It's slogan: "We carry your cargo with the same passion and care as the mothercat carrying its kitten." That's it. I'm totally sending this to Cute Overload.

Thinking corporate branding can get no more precious, I checked my e-mail this morning, and found a delivery confirmation for a CD that I ordered from an independent online retail company. I almost disregarded it, as I do most confirmation e-mails after checking the details, and then I caught the fine print:

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Wednesday, January 16th.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!


I don't think I can continue working today. I'm gonna go prance in a meadow with bunny rabbits, or some crap like that.


Monday, January 14, 2008

A Fine Berfday Present Indeed

So I spent my 27th yesterday a bit under the weather. It's a bummer being sick on your birthday, but since celebrations took place Friday and Saturday, and will continue with lunches today and tomorrow, it's not such a big deal. Besides, it gave me an excuse to plop on the couch and watch the Cowboys gets their hindquarters handed to them by the Giants (whose own hindquarters I hope very much to be handed back to them in turn next week by the Packers, but that's looking ahead). Seeing Romo weep a bit (again) was a fine birthday surprise, but this video really warmed the cockles of my black heart: