Tuesday, January 21, 2014

"Snow Day Schedule"

Sometimes I make up raps on the subway. And by "sometimes," I mean just this once. Based on actual events.

6 am weather report as I lay in my bed
"Could be up to 12 inches" (but that's what she said).
Roll out with my long skivvies under my civvies
Totin' my Zac Posen because tonight's also busy
Walk a mile to the subway in janky snow boots
Because a little old snowstorm won't stop the news
Gotta file a lawsuit in the pursuit of justice
The DC office is closed? Fuck 'em. It's just us.
Gotta log my eight hours before I change out of my trousers
Traipse through the slush and the mess in a designer dress
Blizzard conditions by the time I get to the museum
Slip on heels, hide the boots, so the rich people don't see 'em
VIP soiree. Stuff my face with canapes.
And the accumulation won't keep us from our reservation
Sushi and wine; I've got a groupon to dine
Might as well order another drink 'cause baby, it's cold outside
Lookin' all fancy as we get in our taxi
So I can get home in time to watch a little Downton Abbey
And then call it a night. So your day off sounds adorbs,
but this what we call a "snow day" in New York.