Monday, June 5, 2006

Somebody Gimme a Damn Backrub

Oh, wasn't I a productive little minx this weekend.

Take it easy -- it's not that kinda blog. Haven't you learned by now?

But I did experience the hell out of the fine weekend activities that DC has to offer. About damn time too, since I've been here for over three years and still can't tell people how to get to the Beltway. But nevertheless, I had a nice Friday evening with pals in Georgetown and saw a movie (spoiler alert: to enjoy the DaVinci Code, you must be prepared to believe that the Louvre has one retarded security guard, the floor in Westminster Abbey is filthy, albino monks are scary and not funny, and that Earl Grey tea goes best with lemon, rather than milk and sugar. Forget the Catholic Church -- that stuff presents a true test of faith). Then on Saturday, I got outside, exposing myself to all kinds of nasty UV rays, and then I Kayaked. No kidding. I got in a tiny boat, made a friend, and paddled with a big group of yuppies for three hours. I haven't done anything like that in easily ten years, but I daresay I did very well. I kayaked the shit out of that thar Potomac. And I saw ospreys and herons. And I learned that herons make horrible sounds for such pretty birds, especially when you scare them. They kind of roar and burp at the same time. Silly herons.

Not content with that, I woke up at 5 in the morning on Sunday to go volunteer at a walk-a-thon for the animal shelter. I've never been to any such function, but I understand this one is special because you can bring your dogs with you on the walk. So the quad at American University was overrun with all manner of dogs, splashing in pools, playing frisbee, and having a delightful time. The most amazing thing to me about a walk-a-thon is how early it's all over. We had tents and food and games and a DJ and hundreds of people around, but by 10:30, it was as though we were never there. That's when I usually get up. Amazing. I wonder what else happens when I'm watching VH1 on a Saturday morning.

The consequence of all this is that I am really really sore. Last night I took a really hot bubble bath, which was excellent. It's nice to rediscover the simple pleasures in life -- like poaching yourself in the tub 'till you're all pink and puckered and then drying off and slipping into cool, clean sheets. Aaahh...

Now if somebody could just give me a damn backrub I'd be really happy.